After a job interview, it is customary to perform self-flagellation.
At least, that's what my mind does to me. And today's interview went rather well! The time flew by and I enjoyed myself. I left happy, thinking, "I actually have a decent shot at this job." But that didn't stop my mind from playing its dirty tricks.
Replaying specific sections. Pointing out the flaws, the obvious and clear answers I had overlooked.
"You rambled," my mind says. "You talked in circles, hoping that if you did that long enough, you'd eventually stumble on the answer you knew was there. But did you forget? You're an introvert! You have clarity only after you leave the scene and have a chance to reflect on things. So the result is that you were a babbling idiot. You blew it."
"Stop, mind!" I say. "There's nothing you or I can do about it now, so shut up!"
But the knot of unease grows. It's not healthy. I know what to do: I will turn my anxieties into prayers. "God, help! I really, really want this job!"
But God interrupted. Suddenly, and quite clearly: "Stop. You already have a lot of people praying for you today, so you don't need to. Be quiet. Stop praying."
My anxiety immediately lifted. But how odd, to be told by God to stop praying.
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Wow Jon...that's very interesting. Can't say I've ever had that happen...
Posted by: Carrie | May 11, 2009 at 08:36 PM
Nor I, Carrie. But I sure feel better.
Posted by: Jon Reid | May 11, 2009 at 09:11 PM
i think you just paraphrased, "Be still and know that I am God." Rest well friend, God hasn't told me to stop praying for you yet so I'll continue.
Posted by: Terri | May 11, 2009 at 10:39 PM
Terri, thank you! …And interesting observation.
Posted by: Jon Reid | May 11, 2009 at 11:00 PM
So.. like.. how does Gods voice sound to you when he speaks? Is it your own voice or does he sound more like Alec Guinness?
Posted by: Saluzar | May 12, 2009 at 02:05 AM
Saluzar, I think God's voice would sound like Alec Guinness only if I were Alec Guinness. :-) Really, God's voice is almost identical to your own thoughts, but the quality is different. We are each very used to hearing our own internal dialog. One big clue to help me distinguish God's voice is when I am surprised by what I hear.
Posted by: Jon Reid | May 12, 2009 at 09:25 AM
:) hmmm... id say you certainly nailed that one. Nope , no internal dialogue masquerading as God here... these aren't the thoughts you're looking for, move along...
Posted by: Saluzar | May 12, 2009 at 05:01 PM
i find your blog highly offensive.try reading the Bible and see how you feel about this in 21 days...i challenge u.
Posted by: deb baty | September 23, 2009 at 07:09 PM
Deb,
I am trying to come up with a response, but it's difficult because I have no idea what I wrote that you disagree with (or find "highly offensive"). Can you be more specific?
Posted by: Jon Reid | September 23, 2009 at 09:54 PM